


When I Needed You the Most

by nijahrose



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College Football, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, russian bucky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-24 10:34:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6150781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nijahrose/pseuds/nijahrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Steve unintentionally tended to be unavailable when Bucky needed him most.</p><p>*<br/>Steve Rogers is in love with his best friend, Bucky Barnes.  It should be as simple as that; but like his life, nothing ever is.</p><p>***DESCRIPTION CHANGE***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Missing Sneakers

Steve didn't make it a habit to let his personal interests conflict with his opinions of people.  If you were a Yankees fan over a Dodgers fan, he wouldn't shun you.  If you were running for class president against him, he wouldn't outright discredit and see you as a bad guy.

There were a lot of things Steve let roll off his back that may not agree with his desires because he understood everybody wanted different things and it wasn't his place to judge, but he had to draw the line somewhere, and that line was Bucky Barnes.  As long as he could remember Bucky was always his main desire.  

He was his best friend, his guardian angel.  Bucky was the type of guy who could charm anyone, from teachers who were angry at him for not turning in his homework, to his parents who'd often be cross with him for coming home past curfew because he was hanging out with Steve and lost track of time.

 Steve had fallen hard for Bucky and coming of his two year realtionship with Peggy Carter, his favorite ferocious red-lipped girl, he finally understood how hard he had actually fallen. He loved Bucky Barnes and getting him to love him back was his top priority, but Bucky was a desirable man with beautiful blue-grey eyes and fluffy short brown hair and a beautiful smile, so Steve had to make his move soon, Bucky had already gotten three numbers since they arrived to college a few months ago.

"Great work team! If we want to beat the Iron Mans next week we have to put our best foot forward." Coach Coulson said at the end of football practice.

Coming to Shield University is what Steve felt as an accomplishment, Bucky had gotten a full ride with a little extra money for his grades and Steve had gotten in on a free ride with sports for the best football program in the tri-state area, it was a win-win.

"I'll see you all next practice." Coach said.

Steve wiped the sweat off his brow with his towel before standing up and grabbing his bag from his locker.  He had promised to meet up with Sam and Clint after practice. Sam was a sophmore majoring in psychology as well as Clint who was majoring in medicine. They had helped him and Bucky a lot when they got here and quickly they all formed a nice friendship. Bucky would have usually tagged along but he had to study for a test.

As Steve was walking out he felt a sharp sting on his right shoulder.

"Sorry." A voice said with an unsincere apology.

Steve looked down to see Brock Rumlow smirking at him. Steve stood at 6'3 and had to look down a little at Rumlow's 6'0 frame. Even though he was shorter he carried himself as if he were seven feet tall, which Steve admired and disliked at the same time.  

"Rumlow!" Coach Coulson shouted obviously seeing the whole thing.

RUmlow sneered before turning around.  "It's fine coach, honestly." Steve insisted, trying to diffuse the situation before even started.

Coulson gave a skeptical look before asking the juniors and seniors to stay behind, most likely to talk about NFL scouts.

When Steve walked into Clint and Sam's dorm, he is almost immediately hit by a shoe. He instinctelvly jumped away before sticking his hand out to catch it. "Fucking athletes," he hears Clint mutter as Sam laughed loudly.

Steve took that as his cue to gauge the situation that was going on.  Clint's bed was littered with paper and what Steve could point out the most was the new glasses that adorned his face.

"Nice glasses," Steve smirked before walking completely in. 

"Doesn't he look like a grandpa!" Sam exclaimed.

In all honestly they didn't look that bad, but the metal wire of the glasses, and his grumpy expression and bad posture did make him like fairly like a grandpa.

Before he could even reply another shoe flew at his head and he didn't have enough time to catch it.

It was around six o'clock when Clint finished his homework and  the pizza they ordered arrived.  Sam was talking about Mercedes Knight, a girl who was in his psychology class that he really liked but he was pretty sure she was going out with a senior D-lineman on Steve's football team named Luke Cage.

"I'm pretty sure he and Jessica Jones are a thing." Steve said taking a bite out of his veggie pizza.

"Who's Jessica Jones?" Clint asked.

"She's also a Junior I think, hangs around Natasha Romanoff a lot and that blonde girl, I forget her name sometimes, she's really nice though."

"So is Mercedes single or not?" Sam asked impatiently.

Clint seemed to be deep in thought before nodding, "I think she might be going out with that rich kid, Danny or something."

Sam just banged his head on the table, "Ugh."

Steve just laughed a little at his friend's behavior before eating two more slices of pizza then standing up. "I have to get going, I should probably get to the cafe to get Bucky something to eat before it closes."

Clint and Sam both shared a look before saying, "oooh," like two immature school girls.

"Aww Stevie is getting his boyfriend some food." Clint teased.

Steve ignored his cheeks heating up as he bent down to unzip his bag so he could shove his water bottle inside. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Yet." Sam smirked, "You need to stop playing around before some snatches him up from under your nose, he's hot and if I swung that way I would have already taken him."

"Well you don't and I'm gonna make my move on Saturday, after the game versus the Iron Mans- shit!" Steve exclaimed as he looked into his bag.

"What?" Clint asked around a mouthful of pizza.

"I left my sneakers in the locker room! Bucky got me those for my birthday!" Steve said panic clear in his voice.

Steve had treasured everything Bucky has given him, from the picture he drew him in second grade with the two of them that read in big blue letters, 'Best Friend's Forever', to the friendship bracelets from ninth grade they both wear to this very day.

"Calm down Steve. They'll be there at practice tomorrow. I'm pretty sure no ones going to go in your space and steal it." Sam assured.

Steve fiddled with his friendship bracelet before nodding.  "Your right.  I'm gonna get going before it gets too late."

"Tell the Bucksters we said hey and to get off his ass and hang out some time." Clint said as he was leaving causing Steve to laugh.

As Steve was walking back to his dorm he couldn't help but think about how he was going to tell Bucky how he felt. He has loved Bucky since they were twelve years old. Out of everyone in his life he found Bucky the most easy to talk too and when Bucky talked to him he couldn't help but listen to everyone word and pitch. Bucky made Steve happy and would always continue to make him happy. Bucky knew this, but he didn't know that the extent of Steve's feeling moved past platonic a long, _long_ time ago.  Steve was finally going to tell him. Saturday.

He would take Bucky off campus to his favorite restaurant, Steve would give him his favorite flower,an Iceland Poppy, pull out his chair for him then confess his feelings.

He wouldn't worry about rejection because Bucky was worth the risk. Saturday was going to be perfect and nothing was going to go wrong.

Steve had gotten to the cafe to late and was just going to order him Chinese food if he wanted it. When Steve got to his dorm he pulled his keys and unlocked the door to see Bucky sitting on the couch and looking at his phone blushing. He hadn't even  heard Steve come in, which was concerning because Bucky was usually hyperaware of his surroundings.

"Buck? You okay?" Steve asked walking into the living room.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. It's just...nothing." He said before sitting his phone on the couch then standing up to throw himself on Steve.

Steve dropped his bag and stumbled back a little as Bucky hugged him. 

"You smell like shit." Bucky said before letting go of Steve and walking into the kitchen.

Steve just rolled his eyes before picking up his bag and taking it to his room. "Whatever. I didn't get a chance to buy you any food do you want to order something?" Steve yelled from his room.

"Don't worry about it Stevie, I keep telling you there's food in here I can cook." 

Steve just gave a huff in reply before slipping off his shirt so he could shower. Just then Bucky was in his door way. He was in a black wifebeater and black pajama pants and his feet were bare. He looked beautiful as usual. 

"Did you eat?" He asked.

"Yeah, with Clint and Sam, they said you should come over sometime."

Bucky gave a guilty look before nodding.

He really did care for his friends but Steve understood trying to keep a 3.7 GPA was kicking Bucky's ass.  If he didn't have practice Steve would usually sit up and do his own homework while Bucky did his.  It was nice company and Steve noticed it made Bucky less tense.

"One of your football friends dropped by earlier." Bucky said nonchalantly but Steve could see the pink tint to Bucky's cheeks and he didn't know exactly what was going on.

And from what Steve was aware, he couldn't think of anyone on his team who knew where his dorm was.  Hell, he couldn't even think of anyone besides Luke Cage and Dum Dum Dugan he really spoke too.

"Yeah?" Steve asked.

Bucky nodded before walking completely in his room then gesturing to the space near his door reserved for all his shoes, "It was Brock, he returned them for you."

Steve's brain short circuited for a second before realizing Brock was Rumlow. It was so rare anyone called the senior by his first name that Steve almost completely forgot.

Why had he stopped by to bring his shoes? Hell, how did he know where he lived? It wasn't that Steve disliked Rumlow, it was the other way around actually. Steve had tried to make friends with everyone on the team but Rumlow was not having it.  He'd sometimes ignore Steve when he tried for pleasantries, or he'd just bump into him on 'accident'.  Steve really doesn't understand why Rumlow didn't like him or anyone else for that matter.

So bringing his shoes was strangely...nice.

"That was... considerate of him." Steve said slowly while looking at the shoes as if they might explode any second.

Bucky gave a sheepish smile and looked away as if he was deep in thought.

"You still with me Buck?"

Bucky snapped out of whatever daze he was before looking at Steve and blushing, "Would you put a shirt on you punk?"

Steve just smirked, "I thought I stink, jerk."

Bucky just gave a small smile and his eyes glistened a little which made Steve's heart jump a little.  Thoughts of Saturday came to mind and all of a sudden he didn't feel nervous anymore.  He felt a blooming sense of hope that maybe just maybe, Bucky felt the same about him too.

"Hey BUck, I was thinking maybe after my game on Saturday you'd like to um... I don't know hangout?" Steve asked nervously, his face heating up.

Bucky gave a him a curious yet hopeful look.

"I mean I won't be a benchwarmer this game. Rollins was moved to defense and I've been training extra hard to finally play, and-" But thankfully he was cut off because his face was growing warmer with every word.

"Yes Steve, we can hang out after the game." Bucky finally said, his grin widening.

Relief washed over Steve like a wildfire, he was pretty sure he embarrassed himself in front of Bucky. 

"That's good... I mean great, because I have something special I want to tell you."

Bucky just raised a curious brow, "Why don't you tell me now?"

Steve was pretty sure if he kept blushing he was going to stay red forever.  "Because it's a surprise." He winked before grabbing his towel and heading to the bathroom.

When he got into the shower he tried (and failed) not to think about how pink Bucky's lips looked when he pouted at Steve and his teeth lightly nibbled at his bottom lip.  Steve wanted so badly to kiss him but he had to bud his time right.  Saturday couldn't come quick enough.


	2. Not Such a Bad Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long update, but it's finally here. Next chapter is the big game and not everything is gonna go as planned.

Steve woke up everyday at the same time like clockwork. He’d wake himself at 7:00 everyday either to be on time to practice, which starts at 9:30, to go running around the track with Sam, or to casually stroll into the kitchen to say bye to Bucky before he went to one of his early morning classes. Today it was practice.

 Saturday was coming soon and he had to do his best. He finally had a chance to prove himself as a valuable Quarterback so he could make first string, and most importantly he had to impress Bucky. He was finally going to tell Bucky how he felt come Saturday and hopefully Bucky was going to reciprocate his feelings. 

Steve wasn’t going to chicken out this time. Steve had tried to confess his feelings to Bucky in tenth grade but he couldn’t do it. It was the week before prom and seeing the seniors walk around and prompose really put Steve in a romantic mood. He was going to tell Bucky (he was so shut up Sam!) but a senior girl named Dolores Greene had asked Bucky to go with her, so he lost all confidence,

 It wasn’t about Dolores per se but she was apart of the reason. He already knew Bucky was gay but Dolores asking him to the dance made Steve accept how desirable Bucky was. Bucky was always the desirable one with the crooked smile, and the stormy grey eyes and he was smart, so smart.

While he was in special classes because of his colorblindness and his hearing impairments, Bucky was in special classes for his IQ and how proficient he was learning Russian, Spanish, French, and Italian.

His biology and anatomy teachers even recommended him to work with a vet’s office for a summer. Bucky was too good for him. So he chickened out and didn’t say a word. Bucky would never go for someone like him. But they were in college now and Steve had a growth spurt and he started feeling… different.Seeing all the guys and girls flirt shamelessly with Bucky made him jealous and scared. He was scared that he might never be the one to make Bucky happy.

 Steve stretched as he got up and headed into the living room. When he got there, Bucky was typing away on his computer with a plate of bacon, scrambled eggs and toast next to him. “Morning.” Steve said smiling at Bucky, whose glasses were on his face but sliding down his face and his hair was in a sloppy ponytail.

 Bucky pushed up his glasses as he looked up and slowly licked his lips before smiling slowly. Steve felt his body flush looking at Bucky but he tried not to let it show.  “Hey” he said, his voice still husky from waking up. “I made you a protein drink and boiled eggs. I can make smoothie if you want…”

 Steve shook his head before walking to the stove to take his eggs.  He tried not to think how domestic they were and refrained from kissing Bucky on the cheek with a 'Hey hun.'  They weren't there yet, but Steve couldn't help but feel giddy with the thought that maybe that would be who they were one day.  Come saturday, he was gonna get his feelings off his chest and hopefully Bucky would feel the same.

Steve sat his eggs on the table in front of Bucky then went to retrieve his protein shake from the blender, "You know I have to make dinner now, right?"

Bucky hid his smile behind his computer, his icy grey eyes flashing with humor. "I only boiled you eggs, and you cooking?" 

Steve gave him an offended look before peeling one of his eggs.  "For your information I'm good cook, I make a mean steak and guinness pie."

Bucky made a disgusted face as he looked up, "That's so... irish, plus I don't want to eat your depressing comfort pie."

"What are you even talking about Buck?" Steve asked.

Bucky took off his glasses and closed his laptop before giving Steve _that_ face.  The face that made Steve question all his life choices and decisions.  His eyebrows scrunched up and the blue in his grey eyes came to light.  "Every time you get upset or angry, you make that damned pie and start watching Supernatural or American history documentaries." He said matter-of-factly.

Steve opened his mouth to disagree but immediately closed it.  Bucky was right.  He didn't even realize it until Bucky said something.  That means Bucky had been paying attention to him.  Hope began to flutter in his chest and it tickled his ribs.  His palms began sweating and his face began heating up.  All of sudden he felt twelve again, when he first found out his feelings for his best friend was more than friendly.

Feeling at loss for words Steve just ducked his, "Shut up." He mumbled embarrassed.

Bucky just chuckled before eating a piece of bacon.  As they ate he listened to Bucky recount tales from his Russian class about a redhead named Natasha, and an asian girl named Colleen.  "They think they know everything, with their knowing eyes and stuff.  Even if they did know everything they don't know me."

"Then they wouldn't know everything, Buck." Steve said.

Bucky glared murderously at him, "Shut up." he scolded.

Before Steve could response Bucky's phone dinged indicating that he had a text message.  Bucky looked down at his phone and a blush washed over his face.  He gave a tiny smile before picking up his phone.  His finger hovered over his screen as if he was deciding on whether or not he should text back.  He chose not to.

Steve couldn't help the worry and panic that shrouded his mind.  He wasn't too late was he?  "Who was that?" Steve asked (trying to be nonchalant and failing miserably, he's pretty sure his voice cracked).

Bucky glanced at Steve from under his eyelashes before hastily putting his phone facedown on the table.  "It was just Natasha."

Steve could tell he was lying but chose not to comment on it.  If he knew Bucky at all, he was for certain that he would tell him sooner than later.

"I have to get going for practice. I'll see you later, yeah?" Steve said while standing up from the table.

Bucky gave a sweet smile before nodding, "As long as you don't bring the pie home for dinner then yeah."

Steve grinned down at him before grabbing his shake and his bag that Bucky sat next to the door. He gave one last wave to Bucky before he was out the door.

* * *

He got to practice on time with ten minutes to spare. He went to his cubby and put his stuff away.  Unlike his most of his teammates, his space was clean and organized. He hung his jacket on his hook and put his bag and the bottom of his cubby.

His spare pair of shoes were sitting next to his bag and his towel was on a rack next to a picture he had of him, Peggy and Bucky in middle school.  He stared at the picture for a while before dropping to the ground to start some push-ups.

He didn't like waiting around in his uniform, so he was going to warmup until more guys started piling in.

He was on his fiftieth push-up when a pair of black boots stopped in front of him.  Steve looked up to see Rumlow smirking down at him.  "Rogers," he said.

Steve hopped up and stretched his arms as he regarded Brock, "Rumlow." He greeted.

Rumlow just gave him a small grin before stepping around him to look at the photo of him, Peggy, and Bucky.  "You failed to mention your roommate was so pretty." 

Steve raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Excuse me?"

"Coach made me drop off your shoes yesterday and your roommate opened the door, he's quite a sight." Rumlow explained.

Steve felt his muscles tighten despite the fact that he just stretched. "He is," Steve agreed.

Rumlow smirked as his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and waved at Steve. He could briefly catch a glimpse of the

ame on his phone. He could make out a B and U but he shook his head. It couldn’t be.

Steve clenched and unclenched his jaw at the implications of what Brock was trying to say.

“I have to go, important message.” Brock said before winking and walking away.

Steve saw red as he walked away.

* * *

 

To say Steve was pissed was an understatement. He took out all his aggression and jealousy out on the field. He ran the ball, he knocked the shit out of Rollins when he tried to tackle him, and he ran like a bat out of hell. He couldn’t help but think of Brock trying to sweet talk Bucky, take him out… other things.

 Steve dodged his tackle with a little more force than necessary. “Rogers! Take a lap!” Coulson yelled.

Steve threw off his helmet before running around the field.

After practice was over Steve quickly and quietly packed his stuff. "Rogers, can I talk to you?" Coach Coulson asked.

"I'm sorry sir, but I have a class to attend in twenty minutes.  Can we possibly talk later?" 

Coulson gave him a considering look before nodding, "You did a good job today, bring that aggression this Saturday you have a bright future."

Despite his mood, Steve managed a smile.

"But you play dirty. If you get even a half a penalty I'm benching you. You can go."

Steve nodded before walking out.

Steve had english 1010 next.  He usually caught up with Sharon Carter so she could hold his stuff in her dorm until his classes were finished.  Sharon was Peggy's cousin, though he had only met her once before attending college, at one of Peggy's birthday parties.  Peggy had told Steve that Sharon had a crush on him, but he shrugged it off. Sharon had probably grown out of her crush by now, and he only ever had eyes for Bucky.  Plus he thought it would be kinda weird considering he and Peggy went out for like two years before accepting that they were better off as friends especially since they were both in love with their best friends.

"Hey Steve," Sharon's voice called out behind him.

Steve turned around and gave a tired smile.  He was having a bad day and just wanted to get his classes over with.  He promised Bucky dinner and he didn't want Bucky to come back from his classes hungry.

 

Sharon gave a tired smile in return and Steve could tell she was having a bad day too.

"Bad day?" She asked as she took his bag.

"You have no idea." He sighed.

Her brown eyes shimmered in the sun as she looked at him and gave a tired huff, "I think I have little. Now get to class or you'll be late."

Steve gave an appreciative smile before jogging to his class.  

If Steve thought practice was torture, english was fucking hell.  He left his homework in his dorm, he was three minutes late, and he couldn't concentrate on a single thing his professor said.  His mind was too focused on Bucky.  Was he texting Brock right now?  Was Brock just trying to get a rise out of him? Was he too late?

Saturday was only three days away, and a lot could happen.  Steve began second guessing on confessing his feelings now.  What if Bucky didn't feel the same?  What if-

Steve's thoughts were caught off by his professor calling out his name.  "If only you thought that hard about turning in your work." She said glaring at him.

Steve felt his cheeks heat up as he sunk down in his chair.

He could not wait to get back to his dorm and vent about his day to Bucky.

* * *

Steve got back to his dorm around 5:30. He tried to make potatoes and chicken but- yeah he didn't want to talk about it.

So he settled for ordering Chinese food. It should arrive around the same Bucky got back. He had straightened up the room because he knew how much Bucky hated working in untidy places but was too lazy to clean up after himself.

As he was cleaning he saw his essay on the kitchen counter, "I knew I did it!" he exclaimed to himself.

After he finished cleaning he went in his room to change into a gray wife beater and his old high school gym shorts. 

By the time he was changed there was a knock on the door.  Steve grabbed two twenties before going to open the door. It was the delivery man with their food, "$35.67." 

As Steve handed him the money, Bucky came walking through the door giving a nod to the delivery man and a smile to Steve. "Keep the change," he said before closing the door. He then turned around to see Bucky walk into his room to his bag down then coming back out to look curiously at the food he bought.

"You actually bought dinner." He said fondly looking to Steve.

Steve blushed and stuttered at the look in Bucky's eyes.  It was new and different. 

"How bout we watch The Flash on netflix while we eat." Bucky suggested grabbing his container of food and looking at Steve expectantly.

"Yeah sure," Steve agreed.

A whole container of orange chicken and two episodes in Bucky was asleep with his head on Steve's chest.

Steve looked down at how peaceful Bucky looked as slept and he thought about how right this felt.  His doubts went away as he thought about how he wouldn't trade this moment for the world. 

He knew as long as he came home to Bucky, everyday was going to ultimately turn into a good one.

 

 


	3. Love love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to update! But school ends for me next week so I'll have more time to update. Thank you so much for sticking with me!  
> Btw I'm excited for Iron Fist to come out so I included some characters. Jessica Henwick is the FC for Colleen Wing and Meagan Tandy is the FC for Misty Knight.

Bucky does not pine over Steve Rogers, so fuck you Natalia Alinova Romanova and Colleen Wing.  Steve is his best friend and that was how it is going to stay until someone (Steve) made a move to show otherwise. It wasn't that Bucky himself couldn't make a move, believe me he could, it was just that he had already tried and that came back and sucker punched him right in his face.

It was something he tried not to dwell on, because it was fucking embarrassing. He had the whole shabang planned only for Steve to come over and tell him that he and Peggy Carter were going steady. Sure Bucky was hurt but he didn't let it show.  All he wanted was Steve to be happy. Over the past few years he's been trying his hardest to get over Steve, and he thinks he's been doing a good job. He didn't think more of it when he looked up to steal a glance at Steve every once in a while only for the blond to already be looking and blush at being caught. Bucky always played it off by assuming there was something on his face.  he steadily ignores the crestfallen face that Steve gets whenever Bucky ever mentions dating only to replace it with what seems like an genuine smile, it's probably because he was still heartbroken by Peggy.

Bucky had finally accepted that Steve will never like him back and it was time to move on, but as fate would have it Bucky was still hopeful. Maybe, just maybe on saturday Steve might confess his 'undying' love for him and Bucky wouldn't have to pin- wait for him anymore. But knowing his luck that probably wasn;t the case. Like all those years ago, he was probably going to tell Bucky about a new girlfriend or something.

Bucky sighed to himself before putting together Steve's bag for football practice while boiling two eggs for Steve's breakfast and scrambling a few for his own. Bucky had class at 9:30 today and Steve had practice at 9:00and left at twelve.  Right now it was 7:30 and Steve better be kissing his ass for being this nice to him. (Bucky just wanted to sit down and have breakfast with him.) "Buck" Steve's deep morning voice called out.

Bucky slid his eggs on a plate before sitting down the table, waiting for Steve to join him, "In here buddy!" he called out.

Steve walked into the doorway of the kitchen in his 6'2 glory, shirtless. He grabbed the top of the doorway with his big hands and stretched, and damn, what a sight.  Sue him, he's only nineteen, his hormones are on a rise.

Bucky coughed into his fist before gesturing lazily to the stove.  Today was friday and Steve's big game was tomorrow.  Every Saturday Bucky would go to Steve's game and watch the back of his head as he warmed the bench.  Bucky didn't mind coming every Saturday.  Steve was his best friend and as much as it pained him to admit, he hasn't been spending a lot of time with him lately.  But coming to his games, Bucky could relax and just remember their time in elementary all the way to high school.  They were just two care-free teenagers who cared about nothing but each other.  Every game Steve would turn around and smile brightly causing Bucky's heart to stutter and his cheeks to flush.  He really liked Steve but nothing could ever come of it.

But come spring time Bucky will be taking easier classes and won't have to study as hard as he had to this semester. 

Steve grabbed a plastic bowl to put his eggs before sitting in front of Bucky, he had a huge smile on his face.  Bucky couldn't help but smile back before rolling his eyes.  "You're too young to be drinking happy juice, Steve." Bucky mumbled before looking down at the open text book in front of him.

Steve just hummed in response, but Bucky could practically feel him buzzing from across the table.  Bucky clenched his jaw before looking back up to see Steve looking innocently at him.  They had a staring contest for what seemed like hours before Bucky finally bit the bullet and closed his book.  "Fine," he said.

With his okay, Steve broke out into a huge grin.  "I'm just so excited Buck, I thought you were gonna have to look at the back of my head forever."

Bucky just shrugged, "I wouldn't have minded, the back of your head is cute." 

Steve turned scarlet and looked down at his food.  Bucky just chuckled, Steve normally got embarassed when he complimented him.  Bucky got up to get some juice from the refrigerator and the smoothie he made for Steve last night.  "I'm proud of you. Tomorrow your gonna crush their asses and become a starter, then get drafted with a multi-million dollar contract, then marry a gold digger who'll eventually fall in love with out of guilt after realizing your stingy when it comes to money and birthing your daughter-" Bucky's rant was cut off by Steve clearing his throat.

Bucky blushed, "Sorry, Natasha, Colleen and Misty made me watch _The Game_ with them on Netflix." He admitted sheepishly.

Steve just chuckled before sipping on his smoothie, "Well, you don't have to worry about half of what you just said." 

Bucky was about to reply when he felt his phone vibrate.  It was probably one of the girls.

_Good morning x_

Bucky blushed, it was from Brock.  Even though Bucky only has eyes for Steve, he couldn't deny Brock Rumlow was hot as hell.  Standing over 6 feet with broad shoulders, tan skin, dark hair and a jaw so chiseled he'd happily scratch his face against it.  To top it all off, Brock was... different.  Sure he's been offered a few numbers since he got here, but Brock was just... persistent.

It started the day he brought back Steve's shoes.  Bucky had just gotten home and stripped off all of his clothes. He was in the process of putting on his pajama pants when he heard a knock on the door.  He made his way to the door without bothering to put a shirt on.  Steve probably left his key again.

The man at the door was not Steve.  He did, however, have Steve's shoes in his hands a disgruntled expression. But when he saw Bucky his frown slowly turned into a grin. "Your not Rogers." He said, voice smooth and deep.

"No..." Bucky said subconsciously licking his lips as he stared at Brock.  It was nervous habit that Steve always pointed out, but he couldn't help it. Brock eyes followed Bucky's tongue before he smirked.

"You two roommates?" He asked leaning against his doorframe.

Bucky nodded and fidgeted uncomfortably. Was he flirting with him? Or just being friendly?  He had not experience in this.  He only had like three guy friends, and about ten girl friends, so that line between friendliness and flirting has been blurred for like ever. And aren't all football players extremely straight or in the closet?He knew Steve was bisexual but that was about it. 

"Well he left his shoes so I brought them back for him." He then reached his hand with the shoes in them into Bucky's hands. 

"That was very nice of you." Bucky commented.

Brock just shrugged before leaning off of the door and sheepishly sticking one of his hands in pocket. "My name's Brock by the way."

Bucky couldn't help but blush at Brock's sheepishness. He always found sheepish guys hot.  Like really hot. Logan Lerman for example.  But Brock on his own was fucking hotter than hell and... shit.

Blame his hormones, blame his hormones.

"Bucky." 

And from there they've been texting for three days.  He hasn't told... Steve for reasons (No! It wasn't because...whatever. He doesn't have to explain himself.)

He was kinda hoping that maybe, just maybe Steve was going to make a move on him.  If he didn't... fuck it!  If he rejected him he hoped that it wouldn't be over forever, and they could still remain friends.  He licked his lips before typing out a quick reply then looking up at Steve who had a clenched jaw and furrowed eyebrows.

"You okay, Stevie?" Bucky asked, concern laced in his voice.  Steve's happy mood had turned sour quick.

"Fine," he mumbled before getting up and throwing his empty bowl away.  "I'm gonna brush my teeth then head out."

Bucky gave a small nod before looking at Steve's retreating figure.

What was wrong with him?  Was he nervous for tomorrow? 

Bucky's phone buzzed again. 

_I hope i see you at the game tomorrow :)_

Bucky blushed before typing out a reply, _I'll be there :)_

After three days, four love websites and five opinions from some of his girl friends he wasn't a hundred percent sure if Brock was flirting or not. It wasn;t that he minded, hell yeah a super hot guy texting him, it was just... Steve.

Steve was perfect.

 After knowing Steve for twelve years Bucky was certain that there was no one else for him.  He just so... kind.  After life repeatedly kicked him in the ass, he was still such a nice person. He'd walk old ladies across the street, volunteer at the soup kitchen at thanksgiving, and sit in retirement homes. Bucky could clearly remember the time when he was working as an assistant at an animal clinic during the summer, when Steve rushed in at 10:00, right when they were about to close with a small whimpering labrador with a bent paw.  Bucky almost burst in tears at the pure devastation on Steve's face.  

"You have to help her Buck." He sniffed.

That was now Captain. Steve's pet dog.

And Bucky was in love.  Not the 'I feel butterflies' love, but the 'I feel like my insides are being crushed by a bulldozer' love.  Something he could never come back from.  He was going to tell Steve too.  He was really going to tell him, but Peggy came along and they were just so happy. Bucky could never- would never- come in the way of that.

Steve came out of the bathroom in his black nike muscle shirt and gym pants.  He looked a little more at ease, so Bucky just asummed his earlier behavior was just nerves. Bucky stood up and hugged him then kissed his cheek as he picked up his gym back to leave. "I'll make you some edamame and salmon tonight, okay? I know your going to knock them dead."

That earned a huge grin from Steve. "Thanks Buck."

"Yeah, yeah." Bucky said before pushing him out the door.

When Steve was gone Bucky slipped on a jacket and his shoes before grabbing his books and heading to class.  His classed were over at three today so that meant they were mostly early classes.

He was running a bit late so he cut across the St.Firman's dorms instead walking straight through campus. 

He was tempted to go up and ask Skye if she wanted him to walk her to class but decided it against it. He was already too late.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket but ignored because the sight he saw in front of him made him stop dead in his tracks from shock and utter heartbreak. 

Steve was making out with Sharon Carter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay what? Stay tuned for next chapter to see what that's all about! This might also be the last chapter in Bucky's P.O.V. Idk yet.  
> Comments and kudos is what I live off of.


	4. Misunderstandings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update. I was actually going to update a few weeks ago so the chapter got deleted. Originally it was all gonna be in Steve's POV but I decided to go with Bucky because i was so upset when the chapter deleted. The game was also going to be in this chapter but I had to change it to next chapter. So thanks for sticking with me.

 

 

Bucky sighed as he sat in Colleen's dorm room.  After seeing Steve and Sharon suck faces on his way to class he hadn't been able to concentrate on anything but how much of an idiot he was.  This was tenth grade all over again.  Bucky couldn't help but kick himself at his own stupidity.  Steve probably had no intention of confessing his 'undying' love for him and asking him out after the game.  The lingering looks, the blushes, the small smiles, were all in his head.  But what really had Bucky upset was that Steve didn't tell him.  Sure Bucky hasn't said anything about Brock but there wasn't anything to tell.  Bucky fiddled with his friendship bracelet and sighed.

"Bucky? When are you going to tell us what happened? This is getting really pathetic to watch." Natasha said lifting her head from her notebook.

Colleen was sitting on Misty's bed while Bucky sat on hers and Natasha was sitting at their desk.  

Bucky just glared before looking back to his bracelet. "Nothing happened, okay? Just let it go."

Colleen raised a brow as Natasha snorted before looking back down. "Fuck you, Barnes. What's going on with Rogers?"

Bucky almost scoffed at her implications then sighed.  "I saw Steve kissing Sharon Carter."

Colleen scrunched up her face, "Isn't that his ex-girlfriend's cousin?"

"Yeah," He said disinterestedly.

"Was it a peck or full blown make out?" Natasha asked.

"It was the kind of make out you fucking give to your girlfriend, her arms were around his neck and he was gripping her hips." 

Natasha and Colleen shared a look before turning back to Bucky.  "And he didn't say anything about them being a thing?" Natasha asked. Bucky shook his head before laying down.

"You guys tell each other everything though.  Why wouldn't he tell you he was seeing someone?" Colleen asked.

"Maybe because he knows the secret feelings you harbor for him and didn't want you to self-destruct because he found someone else." Natasha deadpanned causing Bucky and Colleen to drop their jaws as she snickered. Feeling eyes on her she looked up and gave them a defensive look. "I was just joking.  It's obvious that Steve thinks Bucky shits gold and vomits rainbows."

"Fuck you, Natalia. Why was he making out with someone else then?"

"Me and Jessica Jones are  friends, and she's best friend Trish Walker whose good friends with Sharon. Maybe I can ask her to ask Trish if she can ask Sharon if her and her Steve are a thing." Colleen suggested.

"That's way too fucking complicated when he can just ask Steve himself, they are best friends." Natasha said.

"If we were really best friends why wouldn't he tell me?" Bucky asked sullenly.

"Hey, Steve is your best friend, okay? He has a big game tomorrow and you have to be there for him.  Get some food, walk around, and clear your head, okay? He was probably just nervous to tell you the news before the game.  Maybe that's what he had to tell you." Natasha said after getting up to sit next to him then grabbing his hand.

He ignored Colleen's concerned face before nodding. "Okay." He said before getting up and walking to the door.

He had to clear his head and think. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Steve. 

When he walked out the door he saw Misty making out with a tall, built blond man with a tattoo on his hand. He recognized him as Danny Rand, her boyfriend. Misty broke the kiss long enough to smile at him, "Hey Bucky!" She greeted briefly before continuing her make out session.

Bucky sighed as he walked. He couldn't help thinking of Steve and how his body would feel pressed against his as they kissed.  Would he grip onto his hips like his life depended on it? Would his hands roam all over his body? Or maybe crowd around Bucky an arm on either side of his head as he took his time to taste him? Bucky shuddered at the thought before continuing his walk.

As Bucky walked he saw dozens of couples making out or holding hands.  He couldn't help but think of Steve and Sharon as he passed a blond couple. 

Why hadn't he kept one of those numbers? The horny nineteen year-old virgin was currently possessing his lovesick body as he continued to pass different couples. _Fuck._

Bucky decided to fuck it all and eat left over pizza from two nights ago. He changed directions and headed to his dorm when he saw Brock walking with a couple of his friends. He quickly looked down but Brock already spotted him.  He said something to his friends before jogging over to catch up with Bucky.  "Hey!" He beamed.

Bucky couldn't help but blush and look down. "Hey," he responded sheepishly.

"I had a dream about you last night." Brock admitted cheekily.

Bucky gave a surprised laugh before shoving his hands in his pockets. "Oh yeah?"

"Yep." Brock confirmed smiling brightly.

"I'm afraid to know what it was about." Bucky said.

"It wasn't nothing bad, I promise.  It was just you at one of my games cheering for me in the front row."

Bucky paused and looked at him.  Really looked at him.

He noticed the sharpness of his jaw, the small specks of hazel in his rich brown eyes and the how you could see a fang when smiled. He likes Brock. 

He likes how he calls him beautiful when he texts him every morning when he wakes up and every night when he goes to sleep.  He likes how Brock always gives him his undivided attention whenever they talk. He likes him but he loves Steve. He loves him, he loves him, he loves him.  He was going to tell him that too but he was always too late.

"In ninth grade one of my classmates pulled me aside and said that he had a wet dream about me." Bucky said.

That startled a laugh out of Brock. His laugh was deep and his eyes sparkled. Bucky couldn't help but laugh with him. "What did you do?"

"I just stood there for a minute in shock before punching him and running away." Bucky replied causing Brock to laugh more, Bucky joining him.

"You wouldn't punch me would you?" Brock asked after they calmed down.

 Bucky immediately shook hid head. "Good."

They stopped in front of Bucky's building and stared at each other for a while before Brock gave a small smile and tilted his head. "Can I walk you up?"

"Yeah." Bucky said smiling.

* * *

Steve had a long day at practice but couldn't help but feel ecstatic.  He was confident that he was going to clench his place as quarterback and beat the Ironmen tomorrow.  Maybe if he won Bucky would definitely want him too.  He could imagine their life now.  Bucky as an english teacher at a college and Steve a quarterback for the NFL. Anything Bucky asked for he could have.  He would able to put his mother into a better house, and make sure he and Bucky were set for the future.

He could see Bucky wearing his jersey to games and cheering for him in the crowds...

Steve just smiled as he began walking from class. He felt his phone ping in his pocket and immediately checked it. 

_Don't wait up I'll be home late_

It was from Bucky.  Steve couldn't help but frown.  Bucky always came home for dinner. Every night they'd sit down and eat together and talk about their day or watch a movie.

Whenever Bucky decided to stay out late he was usually upset. They tell each other everything. Surely Bucky would have said something was bothering... unless it was something Steve did. Steve shook off that thought.  What could he have possibly have done from this morning to now? 

What if he was seeing someone?  Dread curled down at the base of his stomach.  What if he was too late?

"Steve!" He heard a voice yell.

He turned and saw Sharon jogging to catch up with. He slowed down his pace.  While he stood a towering figure of 6'3 Sharon only stood at 5'8 so he naturally took longer strides.

"Hey, how was class?" He asked as they walked together.

She just shrugged as she fixed her sweater. "Same old, same old."

"Which is?" He indulged.

"Getting a shitload of work up to my chest."

Steve just gave a small smile, "Can't argue there." He said.

Sharon just hummed as they continued walking.  As they walked a new uncertainty blossomed throughout Steve.  How was to know for sure Bucky wouldn't laugh in his face and say they will always be just friends?  Steve is in love with Bucky and Bucky was worth the risk. But what if Steve just wasn't enough?  What if Bucky deserved more?

"Steve?" Sharon asked.

Steve abruptly stopped and turned towards her. She stood by a lamp post and he couldn't help but notice how it illuminated her features.  Her blond hair shined and under the light and her eyes were bright.  He noticed the freckles that peppered her nose and some of her cheeks and how pink her lips looked. He remembers being pulled in by her for a kiss.  She had spotted her ex-boyfriend and quickly grabbed Steve in a panic. Her lips were soft but he couldn't help but wonder if Bucky's lips were softer. 

"Have you ever wondered if you were good enough for someone? Like you like them and your afraid to tell them because maybe they won't like you back. Maybe your friendship, your routine would be ruined because you admit your feelings and they won't end feeling the same way?" He asked.

Sharon gave him a look before grabbing his hands and looking him in the eyes. "You are the most loyal, honest man I know Steve. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Anyone. You should never be afraid to confess anything because if they can't see you for who you are then maybe they weren't the one for you."

Steve smiled before enveloping her in a big hug. "Thank you." He whispered into her hair.

She just hugged him tighter and ran a hand through his hair, "Anytime."

When they pulled apart they smiled at each other and continued walking only to see Natasha Romanoff. She gave them both a small smile before typing away on her phone.  Panic washed over Steve when she was no longer in sight.  That was one of Bucky's friends.  What if she saw what happened and got the wrong idea?

Shit.

"This is me, I'll see you Steve." Sharon said before walking into dorm building A.

Steve sighed and walked the rest of his way to his dorm when he saw Brock Rumlow exit with a shit eating smirk.  What was he doing over here?  He just shrugged it off before walking into the building and into his dorm to see Bucky on the couch and grinning at the TV. "Bucky," Steve said as he entered.

Bucky looked up and grinned at him, "Stevie!"

Steve smiled before throwing his stuff on his bed. "Hey, I thought you were going to catch a late night."

Bucky shrugged, "Changed my mind."

That night they both went to bed with secrets they forgot share, and boy they would both regret it tomorrow.

 

 


	5. The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not thirty seconds after Bucky pulled up to the stadium him and Steve were already making out. Steve had pulled him over the console so he was halfway seated in his lap. "What will you get me if we win today?" Steve whispered huskily in Bucky's ear. Bucky shivered before gripping onto Steve's neck tighter.

"Bucky," Steve moaned as the other boy nibbled on his ear.

Bucky just hummed in acknowledgement  as he steadily grinded down against Steve's groin causing Steve's hands to immediately wrap around Bucky's waist as he grinded up.  "Fuck! Buck, you feel so good." 

""Yeah?" Bucky whispered in Steve's ear.

"Hell yeah." Steve replied as his hands slid from Bucky's waist to his ass and giving it a big squeeze.

Bucky gasped in his ear and and arched a little into Steve's hands, "Mmm Stevie, your hands are so big and warm."

Steve shuddered violently caught up in the rapture of Bucky in his arms and whispering in his ear. He's been waiting for this moment since he was going through his first spurts of puberty.  He always wanted to be wrapped up in Bucky, to hold him, be with him and here he was.  It felt like a dream.

"Get up Stevie." Bucky whispered as Steve's hands slipped in his pants gripping both ass cheeks and pushing Bucky's crotch harder against his. 

Steve just moaned and closed his eyes. "I'm up baby. I feel like I can cum just like this."

"Get up Steve!" Bucky's voice was more raspy and urgent as he grinded harder.

"Shit!" Steve hissed as he gripped Bucky tighter. 

Bucky gave a small whimper that went straight to his extremely hard, aching dick. He then moved his hands to trace the outline of Steve abs before nibbling on his ear.

"Get the hell up!" He suddenly yelled.

Steve bolted up in surprise before looking around in confusion only to see Bucky in a school shirt and snapback with a brow raised and a slight frown on his face.

"Nice dream?" He asked looking down at Steve.

Steve blinked in confusion wondering Bucky got up so fast.  He then looked down and his whole face burn in pure embarrassment. He was hard and leaking pre cum all over the place.

Fuck! Did he accidentlly moan Bucky's name?  Steve covered his face in his hands before groaning.

"On any other day I would have let you ride out your sleep induced orgasm, but it's 7:30 and you have a game."

"Yeah," Steve mumbled.

Bucky winked at him before walking backwards out the door.

Steve sighed before getting up and getting in the shower.  Today was the big day.  He would hopefully become starter and tell Bucky how he feels.  Steve leaned his head on the shower wall as water washed over him.  He could do this. He knows he can.

When Steve finally got out of the bathroom it was shrouded in steam.  He wrapped his towel around his waist before slipping on a pair of nike sweatpants that slung dangerously low on his hips before drying his hair and walking into the kitchen to see if Bucky made breakfast.

When he got out there he saw Bucky on the couch talking on the phone in Russian.  He rolled his eyes a few time before nodding. " _Da. Da_. Okay Mama... tell _baba_ and _deda_  I'll try my best to come... _ya tohze tebya lyublyu_.  Bye."

By the time he go off the phone Steve was leaning against the counter sipping his green smoothie and munching on the apples and peanut butter Bucky set up for him. Steve felt Bucky's eyes roam over his body and saw him lick his lips. 

Steve sipped his smoothie to hide his smile. "Everything okay?" he finally asked.

As if snapped out of daze Bucky blushed before nodding.  "Yeah, just family stuff."

Steve just shrugged for the time being. Bucky would tell him eventually.

"So are we still on for after the game?" Bucky asked carefully.

Steve's heart stopped for a second as he looked at Bucky.  

"Ideally." Steve said eyeing him suspiciously. "Why?"

Bucky just shrugged trying but failing to be nonchalant. "I thought maybe you wanted to hang out with Sharon or something."

Okay, what?

"Why would I ever want to ditch you for Sharon?" He asked confusedly.

Bucky searched his eyes and clenched his jaw.  A flicker of emotions crossed over Bucky's face. Confusion, anger, disappointed then hurt.

He then gave a fake smile that Steve could spot from a mile away.  "Okay, well Sam and Clint are coming over in a few.  Natasha's coming over too so I figure we would all ride together-" as he started moving things around.

To this very day Steve could not say what possessed him, but next thing he knows is he has Bucky in his grip and is staring down at him.  "Bucky.  Most of the time I i only ever want to spend time with you.  You are the most important person in my world okay? I don't know what made you think I would rather want to spend time with anyone else because I don't, okay?"

Bucky suddenly put his hands on either side Steve's face before leaning up and planting one right on him.

In that moment all Steve could think of was how he skipped two steps in his plan to make Bucky his.  When his head finally registered the fact that he was finally kissing Bucky it was too late because Bucky pulled back with a horrified expression.

Steve touched his lips and gave a dopey smile.  His lips were softer than he imagined.  

"Shit! I'm so sorry, Steve.  I'm sorry, it was my fault. Shit!" Bucky started.

Steve just smiled before shaking his head.  Bucky had to feel the same, he just had too. "Bucky I feel the same. Shit no! I mean I like you more than a friend. I was going to tell you later tonight but..." Steve leaned in to kiss him but Bucky immediately moved away.

"No this is wrong! You have a girlfriend!" Bucky exclaimed.

"What? Who?" Steve asked in confusion.

"Sharon, me and Nat both saw you together on two separate occasions."

"Um... no?  I've only liked you Bucky.  There was the one time she kissed me but that was spur of the moment because she saw her ex boy-" But was caught off by Bucky jumping into Steve's arms and smashing their lips together.  

Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky's waist and fell backwards onto the couch causing Bucky to let out an 'oomph'.  Steve chuckled for a second before Bucky's lips were on his again, and wow.  This was just as good as his dream.  Bucky began sliding his hands over the planes of Steve's chest and let out a satisfied purr, that went straight through his body. 

Bucky gave a shy moan when he felt how hard Steve was growing through his sweatpants.  Steve knew Bucky was a virgin and was tempted to move away and calm himself down but he knew Bucky wasn't going to have it. Bucky experimentally rocked back and forth on Steve's wood, who in turn moaned in Bucky's mouth.

Just as Steve was about to flip Bucky on his back there was a knock on the door. Startled by the sudden distraction they both jumped apart.

Bucky was blushing and panting and Steve sat there dazed and blissed out.  "Yeah?" Bucky finally managed before shyly peeking over at Steve.

Steve understood perfectly what Bucky was trying to say even if he wasn't formulating full sentences. Steve looked down at the prominent erection in his pants then to the spit shined redness of Bucky's lips before nodding.  "Yeah." He said before getting up and pecking Bucky once. Twice. Three times on his lips.

"Open the door!" Clint yelled from the other side of the door. 

"Coming," Bucky shouted as he fixed himself.

Steve returned the wink Bucky gave him earlier before going into his room to change his pants and to probably fix his 'little' problem.

After his masturbation time in the bathroom while the shower was running Steve slipped on a pair of black UnderArmor sweats this time and a white long-sleeved shirt.  He slipped on his shoes and when he was finally ready walked out to the common area where Sam and Clint were sitting and talking to Bucky.

"Sup" Steve greeted.

"Yo! Here comes the next star quarterback of SHIELD!" Sam shouted.

Steve just rolled his eyes before dropping on the seat next to Bucky's, spreading his legs a little so their thighs were touching.  Bucky blushed before turning to Clint.

"If everything goes right, which they have so  far." Steve grinned easily.

"Damn right! Like look at this dorm! How the hell does two freshmen get a place like this?"

There place was pretty big with two bedrooms two bathrooms a common room and a kitchen. "It was basically a bribe, this dorm if we chose them not HYDRA, they have this big pissing contest for their best recruits or whatever." Bucky said getting up and patting Steve leg to get up too.  Bucky grabbed his keys before going into the kitchen to grab a one of Steve's smoothies for him. "I'll be back in twenty.  I have to drop Steve off, but don't touch anything that even looks remotely important, and don't eat any of the food, its for the tailgate. But the TV is all yours. Nat should probably be here before I get back."

"Yessir," Sam and Clint said in unison.

Bucky gave a satisfied smile before nodding.  "Okay then. Let's go Stevie."

"Avengers! Avengers!" Sam and Clint hooted as Steve picked up his bag then saluted.

Steve followed Bucky out the dorm and to his car.

When they finally reached the car and were buckled in Steve leaned over to give Bucky a kiss.  Bucky only allowed a peck before they were off.

They drove in comfortable silence and Steve couldn't stop looking at Bucky.

Bucky scrunched his nose and looked at Steve for a second before looking back at the road.  "What?" 

"I really like you Bucky." He admitted softly, almost as if he were scared Bucky changed his mind about him in the few minutes from their unplanned make out session to now.

"I really like you too." Bucky replied.

Steve smiled in satisfaction before leaning back in his seat.  If won or lost today at least he would have Bucky.

* * *

 

Not thirty seconds after Bucky pulled up to the stadium him and Steve were already making out.  Steve had pulled him over the console so he was halfway seated in his lap.  "What will you get me if we win today?" Steve whispered huskily in Bucky's ear. Bucky shivered before gripping onto Steve's neck tighter.

Bucky was a virgin and he wasn't ashamed of it, he was a little impatient but he always managed to withhold from temptation because no matter how lust driven his mind was he wanted his first time to be special. He wanted it to be with Steve and he finally has him.

"I'll let you touch me tonight." Bucky whispered back.

Steve let out a small grunt at the admission.

"If we lose?"

Bucky just shrugged, "Don't lose." With that Bucky pulled back and unlocked the doors so Steve could get out.  "You're late, plus Clint and Sam have been alone in our dorm for too long."

Steve just pouted before getting out, "I miss you already."

Bucky rolled his eyes before grinning, "You sap.  I'll be cheering the loudest for you."

"Promise?"

"Promise, now go!" Bucky laughed.

Steve smiled before jogging into the stadium.

Bucky watched him go until he was all the way inside before pulling off.  Did that really just happen?

Bucky grinned the whole way back to his dorm.  

When got inside Natasha was already there.  She was sitting on the couch next to Clint while all three of them were sipping a beer and watching Judge Judy.

"Natalia." He greeted, but was shushed and waved off by all three of the TV watchers.  He just shrugged before going to the kitchen and grabbing himself a beer.

When the show finally hit break she looked up and raised an eyebrow at him. "What the fuck is going on with you?" She asked when she walked into the kitchen.

"To be honest I'm not really sure." He said before dragging her into his room.

He slammed the door then locked before sitting down. "What the hell?"

"I kissed him." Bucky said.

Natasha's eyes widened in disbelief, "Shut the fuck up! What about Sharon?! Was how you expected?! What did he do?!"

"They're not going out.  It was ten times better than I expected and he fucking kissed back then said he was going tell me he like-liked me after the game."

"Oh my God!! Colleen and Mercy is going to have fucking fit! Omg, Bucky!" Natasha squealed,(which she vehemently denies).

Her excitement began mixing with his and he couldn't bouncing up and down a little.

"I may have implied that we could possibly, maybe... do it if he won today." He admitted when they finally calmed down.  

The idea has been plaguing his mind since he got here and as much as he wanted to have sex with Steve he wasn't sure if he was ready.    


"No fucking way!" She said in disbelief, "You're not the wine and dine type of guy?"

Bucky just shrugged.  "I mean it's been a long time coming I guess.  And I know Steve will respect me enough to back off if I told him."

"To each they're own, I guess." Natasha said before pausing. "Wait. What about Rumlow?"

"Fuck! I forgot about him." Bucky liked Brock.  He was hot, funny, hot, and really sweet.  But he wasn't Steve.  Bucky felt kinda bad for leading him on but he had to stop talking to him and texting him all together.

"I just have to stop talking to him I guess.  I didn't mean to give him the wrong idea." 

"You better, they're teammates Bucky. Better to cut it off now than to let feelings grow." Natasha said.

Bucky nodded, "I will."

"Good, now it's 10:00 and we have to attend one of the biggest tailgating parties of the year."

"Hell yeah!" Bucky cheered.

Bucky, Sam, Clint and Natasha all grabbed some beer and food before making their way to Bucky's car.

Sam blasted some Rihanna and made it through 'work' and 'consideration' before pulling into the lot.  Bucky showed the guard Steve's parking pass before making his way in.

He pulled in next to familiar Silver Range Rover that had Colleen in what seemed to be an engaging conversation with Danny who's arm was slung over Misty's shoulder.  Danny and Colleen both had a beer while Misty was sporting red cup with God knows in it.  "

"Misty," He heard sigh out wistfully.

Bucky rolled his eyes before proceeding to roll down his windows and honking the horn.  "Yo!" He called out.

"Yo!" Both Colleen and Misty greeted back, while Danny lifted his beer bottle in greeting.

"He doesn't even go here." Sam mumbled while Bucky parked.

Natasha got out the car and grabbed the chicken and beer before walking over to Colleen and Misty.  Danny came and helped with the food and they all sat it on the table next to the other food.  "Is that Misty's jerk chicken I see?" Bucky asked.

"Hell yeah!" He heard Misty yell.

With that the party was in full swing Sam and Clint went to go buy some weed from some sorority and Danny went off to talk to Jessica Jones when she showed up.  Trish, Darcy, Jane, Skye and Sharon had all joined and it was chaos.  A bunch of football fanatic were getting their whole body painted, a lot people were talking and laughing and drinking all the cheap beer they could before they had to go inside and drink some more.

Bucky was dancing with the girls to the loud music that was mostly just bass.  "Fifty bucks on the IronMen 27-35." Darcy said.

"I'll go Avengers 23-21. I'll put down fifty." Skye said.

"IronMen are one of the top teams right now and they have Maximoff. The Avengers are good but they just did a big swap with Rollins and Rogers so I'll do seventy-five on the IronMen, 14-35." Jane said.

Natasha tsked and shook her head.  "The Avenger has a tight defense, they moved Rollins to defense which was good move. He's a 6'0 wall of muscles and he was originally a d-lineman.  On top of that they have Cage who literally bullet proof, and Rumlow who plays like QB killed his dog or something and is out for blood.  The IronMen don't have a chance, a hundred on the Avengers, 27-21." 

Bucky, Colleen and Misty nodded in agreement.  "Yeah put me on with the Avengers, I'll throw eighty down and do 35-21." Misty said.

Bucky chose not to bet but was hoping the Avengers would win.  He wanted Steve to blast them out the park and put his name on the map so that next time he went to a game Steve's Jersey will be in the school store and he could wear it around.

After the bets were settled they continued dancing and Skye was on her fourth beer and Bucky could feel someone watching.  He turned around and he couldn't make a perpetrator so he just shrugged it off and blamed it on the beer.

As they continued to talk and dance Bucky felt it again.  He turned around and caught a brunette guy quickly trying to turn around.  Bucky rolled his eyes.  He hoped it wasn't another boy with a crush, he didn't feel like rejecting anybody. Bucky chance another glance and before he knew it the boy was walking over to him. "Hey!" He called out as Bucky tried to avoid him.

"Can I help you?" Bucky asked trying to be polite.

The boy rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and kinda nodded. "Um, this is kind of a bummer to say since its going to be such a good game today, but... um just be careful, okay?"

Wait what? Was he being recruited like in one of those spy movies. Shit! Steve was about to play. No way he was missing that.  He always knew his grandmother was into some shady stuff.  Maybe it because he was Russian.  Maybe it was a mix up and he was actually looking for his Russian friend Natasha.

"Natasha's over there if that is what this is about." Bucky managed to say.

The boy was spy movie cute. With short dark hair and piercing green eyes two deep dimples. How did his life come to this? Or was this just the beer talking?

The boy looked confused before shaking his head, "No. It's just I've seen you around campus and you seem nice and I just wanted to give you a warning and tell you Brock isn't all he's cracked up to be.  You should stay away.  He's not a good person and the sooner you know that the safer and the better." 

Before Bucky even had the chance to reply the boy turned and walked and began talking to some of his friends as if nothing happened.

Bucky stared after him confused before he was nudged by Natasha telling him it was time to put everything away and head inside.  Bucky nodded before following after her.

When they fianlly got to their seats Bucky could just make out Steve as he jumped in place a little to warm up. Bucky tried calling out his name a few times but his voice was drowned out by the crowd.  By chance Steve looked around and when his eyes landed on Bucky he smiled brightly and waved.  Bucky blushed before returning the wave.

A few minutes later the game begun with the Avengers on the recieving side and Steve started the game off with a touchdown causing loud cheers to erupt throughout the stadium.  As the game continued the IronMen and Avengers were neck and and by half time the Avengers were down 14-21. Steve gave one last wave to Bucky as he headed into the locker room.

"The thought of your hot ass must be motivating him win extra hard." Natasha said to him during fourth quarter.  The Avengers were up 28-23 and there was no the IronMen can win without going into half-time. Just as the IronMen QB was about to throw the ball in what would have been an obvious touchdown, Brock came from nowhere and tackled him to the ground.  Bucky wince that guy was gonna feel that for about a week.

The stadium erupted in cheers.  With only thirty seconds left on the clock there was no way the Avengers would lose.

Instead of kneeling Steve took the ball and ran for it. He shuffled past and knocked over defenders until he was at the endzone and everyone went crazy. "Touchdown!"

They did it! Steve won like he knew he would and all that was left was to give him his prize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the Russian was off. That's not my native language.


	6. Yin to my Yang

Bucky was over the moon. Steve did it.  He actually did it.  There wasn't any doubt in Bucky's mind that Steve couldn't, but seeing it happen.  Bucky didn't even try to hold in his grin.  Bucky, Sam, Clint, Natasha, Jessica, Trish, and Sharon all made their way down to the first floor of the stadium where the players would be released 'after the honoring of the MVP of the game and the post game testosterone locker room party," Jessica had said as she adjust her Avengers hat and her Cage jersey. 

Colleen, Danny and Misty already left but promised to call and congratulate Steve later.  Bucky was so excited to see Steve he wasn't even thinking about his earlier nervousness.  His body felt tingly from all the beer and the anticipation of seeing Steve.  Natasha was talking to Sam and Clint about the IronMen defense and how good the Avengers offense was to get around them.

Bucky could have easily inserted himself in their conversation because he basically knew everything there was to football.  He remembered coming back from visiting his family in Russia the summer before fifth grade.  Steve had just joined the little league football team and that was all he could talk about all the time.  He'd talk about making touchdowns, being a quarterback, divisions, everything!  It wasn't news that Bucky was attached to the small blond hair, blue-eyed boy, ever since they met in second grade and Steve was the only one who didn't laugh at his accent or snicker when Bucky didn't understand what was going on.  So naturally they became friends, best friends for that matter, and well Bucky and Steve became attached like bones as Mrs. Rogers would say.

Whenever Steve took an interest in something, Bucky was behind walking with his head in a proverbial book trying to learn everything he could so he could impress Steve.  So when Steve started playing football Bucky binged watched the NFL channel, checked out every football book there was and sat and watched as many games as he could.  He kinda went overboard though, knowing more about it than Steve did himself. Oops.

But Bucky was Bucky and wherever Steve went he followed.  When they finally got downstairs there were a few cameras and reporters who were trying to get interviews.  Bucky noticed Luke talking to reporter until he caught sight of Jessica and got distracted.  He also noticed Rollins and Rumlow doing an interview together while Rumlow casually tossed a football between his hands.  When he caught Bucky's eye he gave a quick wink but it was so quick Bucky wondered if he imagined it.  He suddenly felt guilty.  He really led him on.  He let him walk him to his dorm, and they'd text quite often.  But the boy's warning from earlier ringed in his head. 

But he never told Steve about the Rumlow situation, and he had half a mind to do just that.  Bucky went back to looking for Steve and when he finally spotted the blond he couldn't help the blush that took over his face.  He suddenly felt shy and couldn't move.  If this all happened yesterday, Bucky would have teases Steve and told him he knew he could do it, but now, knowing for sure exactly what they both wanted from each other, Bucky felt how he did when spent the whole summer in Russia with Luka Mikhailov in tenth grade. He had butterflies, and his heart was beating so fast Bucky was scared it would explode.  

Before he could take his tongue out of his throat and move to talk to Steve, Sharon rushed past him and engulfed Steve in a hug.  Some news crew stopped to capture the moment and Bucky could practically read the headlines; ' _Upcoming Quarterback Steve Rogers Embraced in a Post Game Hug By Beautiful Blonde Girlfriend'_

But in all honesty Bucky was just looking at Steve like a tool.  Natasha raised a brow at him before walking towards Steve herself to give him a quick hug and a congratualations before Sam and Clint both patted him on the back before taking selfies with him 'to post on the 'gram,' Clint had said.

Bucky finally stood in Steve's line of sight and when he caught Steve's eye his nervousness washed away.  Steve smiled brightly at him before taking long strides to where Bucky was and enveloping him in a hug.  Bucky breathed easily and embraced Steve back before pulling away and blushing, remembering the cameras. "You did amazing!" Bucky exclaimed excitement brushing his every word.

Steve gave a bashful grin before looking down, "It wasn't just me, it was the team." 

Bucky just grinned before nudging Steve's elbow with his.  He would have nudge his shoulder but Steve was a fucking giant and Bucky would have to practically climb Steve to reach his shoulder.

Steve winked before throwing an arm around Sam's shoulder and his other arm around Bucky's waist.  "Let's go before they catch me for an interview yeah?"

All of their friend nodded.  Sharon stayed behind with Trish and Jessica while they waited for Luke to wrap up his interview.  Sam, Clint, Natasha, Bucky and Steve all piled into the truck and Bucky dropped them off at their collective dorms.  "As much as we will ride this out, with you potentially becoming the school's golden boy and all, but a psychology needs his sleep bro." Sam said as he got out with Clint.  Clint didn't say much at all to busy posting things on instagram.  He did however give a salute before heading into his dorm, Sam rolling his eyes behind him. "Text me dudes, and dudette." Sam said before jogging in his dorm building behind Clint.

Natasha was the last one in the car other than him and Steve and Bucky could practically feel Steve vibrating beside him.  Natasha seemed unassuming as she hummed a Russian song.  She was surpringly more buzzed than she should have been from a couple of beers.  It usually took about six and a half shots to get really going but beer, espicially American-.  No fucking way.

"You sneaky devil." Bucky said suddenly surprising both her and Steve.

"Buck?" Steve asked.

But Bucky just ignored him as he stopped at a red light and glared at Natasha, "You spiked your beer with fucking Russian Spirit and Kruto and didn't think to offer me any?"

Natasha snorted before looking back out the window, "You shouldn't even be drinking beer and you think I would offer you Kruto, не глупо."

Bucky just scoffed before driving when the light turned green. Natasha quickly got out the car when they pulled up to her dorm.  She gave a quick goodbye and it was just them.  Him and Steve.

Bucky blushed as he remembered what happened between them earlier. Steve gave him a wide grin as he pulled off.  They chose to remain silent until they got to their dorm and from what Bucky was ashamed to admit, it was more for dramatic reasons.  Like in those movies when the two lovers are silent until they get home then had a steamy make out session the moment they stepped foot through the threshold.  But Bucky wasn't in a movie and had about 4 years of sexual build-up so maybe he shouldn't be so dramatic.  He'd leave it to Steve to be the dramatic one.

They were best friends before anything so Bucky loves talking to Steve.

"Remember in sixth grade when you got suspended from the football team?" Bucky laughed.

Steve gave Bucky an indignant look before laughing with him. "Cut it out you jerk, that wasn't funny."

Bucky tried to stop but he couldn't stop.  He imagined a perfect little 5'0 ball of aggression as he knocked down Collin Johnson on purpose and yelling at him with tiny fists raised in the air.  "Glad you didn't release all your hell sent fury on the field today or who knows what would have happened." Bucky snickered.

Steve rolled his eyes, "He threw that ball at you on purpose! He was just mad Vanessa Greene didn't show up to watch him practice but you came."

Bucky suddenly remembered back in second grade how Steve use to call Bucky his girlfriend.  Bucky had longer hair and his features hadn't sharpened yet giving a girlish and delicate face with round rosy cheeks and wide bluish grey eyes. He'd been called pretty a lot and after Steve went through puberty and people kept vying for his attention he would turn them down to hang with Bucky and as they continued to hang out more people would mockingly call Bucky his girlfriend

Bucky glared at Steve, "I wasn't your girlfriend then, and I'm not your girlfriend now."

Steve smirked before raising a brow. "Oh really?" He asked shifting so he was closer to Bucky, his breath fanning over his face. 

"Really." Bucky breathed out.

"Why's that?" 

"Cause I'm a boy you asshole." Bucky giggled as Steve leaned over to kiss Bucky's earlobe, then neck, then finally his lips.  Steve just hummed in agreement. 

"Stevie," Bucky breathed out, "Just to let you know I'd come for you anytime or place." 

Steve abruptly paused to stare at Bucky and he got the glaring suspicion that Bucky made that innuendo just to fuck with him.

Bucky gave a wide grin before Steve started laughing.  He pulled Bucky over the console so he was straddling Steve. "I sticking you to that you know." Steve said before moving the seat all the way back taking Bucky-who let out a squeal-with him.

 

                                                                                                                      * * *

A few minutes later Bucky and Steve came up for air.  Their clothing was crumpled and hair was mussed from the roaming hands. Steve gave out a blissed sigh as he watched Bucky carefully-shyly lick his spit slicked lips.  His eyes were dilated and his lips were puffy and Steve could practically feel his heart beating.

Steve knew Bucky didn't have a lot of experience in this area and was probably wracking his brain through teen movies, chick flicks, and probably porn to know what to do next. 

 Steve felt pretty guilty for his dick poking Bucky in the ass probably making him uncomfortable being in so many uncharted territories so soon. Steve tried to adjust his body a bit so his member wasn't as out in the open as it was.  He then rubbed a comforting hand down Bucky's back and pecked his cheek. "Hey, it's okay. That's as far as we should go today." 

Steve felt Bucky relax against and smiled.  A relaxed Bucky was a relaxed Steve.

Bucky curled around Steve as they laid back in the car chair.  Steve slowly stroked Bucky's hair and basked in the thought of this finally happening.

"Can I take you on a date?" Steve asked quietly.

He felt Bucky smile before nodding. "Yeah."

"Good, cause I was planning on taking you to Johnny Rockets tonight before your ruined my whole plan earlier."

Bucky snorted before snuggling closer to Steve.  "Shut up you asshole."

Steve just chuckled and held Bucky tighter. 

This felt so happy and surreal Steve couldn't help but think of Dr. Cai his Chinese teacher from ninth and tenth grade and a lesson she did on Yin and Yang. How contradicting forces are complementary and when you have one the universe will send the other to balance it out.  Right now Steve's life was too good and he couldn't help the feeling of dread that danced along his spine that something big was coming.

 


	7. It's the Reality

Steve never realized that sitting in a small Johnny Rockets with his best guy was the most adrenaline pumping thing to happen to him.  He just went up against one of the most brutal teams in college football less than five hours ago, and played a game that would determine his whole career forever, but sitting in front of Bucky as his eyes shone and as he drank his butter-finger milkshake, made Steve's stomach flutter in ways unparalleled to any other feeling he has ever felt.  Bucky was beautiful.  The way his grayish-blue eyes sparkled under the artificial lights of the joint and how his hair still fell over his eyes even after he ran his fingers through it.  Steve gave an involuntary smile as Bucky recounted a story from his Russian Lit class.  He finally did it.  He finally got him.

Steve must have been looking at Bucky pretty hard because Bucky stopped mid-story before looking at Steve with an expression he could not read.  His lips then curled into smile before placing his cold hand on Steve's big warm one.  "You know I'm proud of you, yeah?" He asked.

Steve gave a shy smile and nodded as he rubbed his thumb over Bucky's knuckle. "And I'm happy we're here together.  Ever since we were younger I liked you a little more than a friend and I just... l. I'm happy Steve."

Steve's face felt like it was going to melt off.  His cheeks must've been ruby red.  His heart felt like it was beating a mile a minute.  "I'm happy too Buck, I really am."

"Good," Bucky smiled.

"Good," Steve echoed.

Before either one of them the waitress came out with their meals.  Steve ordered a large basket of fries and a Smokehouse Double, Bucky on the other hand ordered a small basket-he figured Steve would share his anyways- and a Tuna Melt.  Bucky barely batted an eye as Steve began to devour his burger.  Bucky has seen Steve eat 2lbs of chicken in one go.  As Steve ate his food he only swatted Bucky's hand once from his fries-"C'mon, it was reflex Buck."  

"You know what would have been really cute?" Bucky asked causing Steve to look up from his food.

"What?"

"If we ordered a strawberry milkshake with two straws." 

Steve gave an unattractive snort. "You don't even like strawberry milkshakes." 

Bucky just grinned as he shrugged, "I'm getting 1940s vibes Stevie.  I could have worn your knit letterman, you could have pulled my chair out and we could have put a little Elvis on."

Steve was in full hysterics now. He leaned back in his seat and clutched his stomach as he gave a hearty laugh.  "We're in a booth Bucky, and Elvis was around in the 60s."

Bucky began laughing with him.  Steve reached across the table and grabbed Bucky's hand and intertwined their fingers.  "Next-time you can dress as a pin-up and we can listen to Paul Anka all day long."

Bucky gave a bright smile and nodded, "Th-" he began to respond but was cut off by someone tapping loudly on the window that separated the restaurant from the mall.

They both jumped in surprise, their hands breaking apart.  Outside the window was Tony Stark with his girlfriend, Christine Everett, one of Stark University's journalists in-training, and James Rhodes, one of the IronMen d-lineman.  Tony raised a brow at the two before looking to his companions as if to tell them to stay put.  Rhodes rolled his eyes before tilting his head to a store a few feet away.

Christine smirked before following him as Tony walked into the Johnny Rocket.

He plopped down next to Steve and draped an arm over him as he winked at Bucky.  "Nice game today.  I bet pops is going to go wild when he loses 10k because we lost the game today."

Steve quirked an eye at Tony's presence.  He only knew Tony a little.  He was on Stark University campus when Steve participated in a college tour.  He led him and his friends Gabe, and Jaques around his dorm and hung out with them all day.  They ended missing the tour because Tony was insistent on blabbing his life story to a couple of high school seniors because his two friends, Happy?-Steve honestly couldn't remember half of what Tony was talking about- and Rhodey were in class and "tired of his bullshit."  

From then Tony was unrelenting in his attempts to befriend himself, as well as his high school friends Jaques and Gabe.  He'd often send them memes, or science articles and explain why some of the science didn't make sense.

"Tony," Steve greeted somewhat annoyed, somewhat exasperated.  

Tony disregarded him and looked straight at Bucky.  "Who is this? Bicky?"

"Bucky.  And we're kinda on a date." Steve accosted.

Tony sucked in a sharp breath before tsking.  "That's kinda why I came in here.  We've been friends for a few years now Steve-."

"Like three months Tony and we're barely friends."

"A few years now," Tony continued, "and I know how nice it is to have "mutual" feelings or whatever, but your little public displays of affection and whatnot, probably isn't the best idea considering you literally made first string-um-," Tony stopped to check the digital Stark Watch on his wrist- "5 hours and 22 minutes ago."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Steve asked.

"It means you and Buckeroo's relationship has to be on the DL for the time being.  What openly gay football player do you know of?"

Steve shrugged Tony's arm off his shoulder harshly. He then chanced a glance at Bucky who was glaring openly at Tony.

"Fuck off, Tony. Michael Sam, Chip Sarafin they're just a few off the top of my head." Steve replied.

"Sarafin never made it out of College football no matter how good he was, and you damn well know Michael Sam was fucked over. Call me a dick, you're not the first most likely not gonna be the last, but it's just the reality.  I'm not saying forever but if the NFL really is your dream then just don't be to obvious before your name is out there and you've signed a seven year contract." Tony reasoned.

Steve saw Bucky put his head down and frown.  His cheeks were red and he fidgeted uncomfortably. 

Steve felt his jaw clench and his leg bounce violently under the table. Tonight they were supposed to have fun.  Tonight was his chance.  Seeing Bucky uncomfortable made the butterflies in his stomach turn to needles.  Bucky cleared his throat and pushed his half finished sandwich away.  "Um... I'm not hungry anymore."

"Neither am I." Steve replied glaring at Tony to move.

Tony moved and held his hands up in surrender. "Don't shoot the messenger." 

"I'll try not to." Steve said gruffly, then proceeded to pull out a fifty and put it on the table.  "Let's go Buck."

Bucky slowly got up and followed Steve out of the Johnny Rockets.

"Nice meeting you," Tony called after Bucky.

As Steve and Bucky made their way out of the mall their walk was shrouded in tension.  Ever so often Steve would look over at Bucky but he kept his head down.  Steve's chest began to bubble in panic. What if he wanted to end it.

Sure, joining the NFL was Steve's dream. But Bucky was also apart of his dream and he wouldn't know what to do without him with him.

When they got in the car they sat there for a while not saying a thing.  "I'm sorry," Steve finally said.  

"Why are you sorry?"  Bucky asked confusedly.

Steve shrugged and twiddled with his thumbs on the steering wheel. "We were supposed to have fun but Tony ended being a dick."

"But he was right." Bucky said.

Steve shook his head before looking to Bucky. "I lo- I really like you Bucky.  So much I don't know what to do with myself. You make me smile without even knowing it. You're always there for me. You know what you want in life. You slip into Russian when your too excited or mad. You're you and you're perfect and I just wanna be with you. Please don't let it end before it even starts."

Bucky bit his lip and squinted his eyes as if to stop himself from crying. "You're my best friend, Steve. I don't wanna hold you back. You've wanted this forever. I couldn't live with myself if you couldn't have it because of me. We can still be friends b-but," Bucky's voice began to tremble and the tears started to stream down his face.

Steve softened as he placed his hand gently on the back of his neck and pulled his face closer to his; foreheads and noses touching. 

Bucky immediately moved his hands to grip onto his arms.  "It's okay. It's okay.  I know you know me Buck, you know what I'll choose every time. You know, I know you know. So tell me what you really want, and we'll figure out the rest."

Bucky paused for a second before staring into Steve’s eyes. " I want you. I want us."

Steve gave a strained smile before connecting his lips with Bucky’s. It started off slow. Just the two of them tasting each other before Steve licked the bottom of Bucky’s lip who in turned opened his mouth allowing Steve’s tongue to slip in his mouth. Bucky gave a tiny whine before sliding his arms around Steve's neck. 

After a while they both pulled back and admired each other's kiss swollen lips.

"To the end of the line, Buck."

"To the end of the," Bucky repeated. 


	8. Topic: Love

Bucky understood that one of two things could happen today.  1.  He can walk into Russian lit and daydream about his  _new fucking boyfriend!_ in peace; or 2. He can walk into Russian Lit and be bombarded with highly personal questions from a certain redhead. 

As Bucky figured, it was number two.  As soon as he walked into his first class of the day Bucky was immediately steered to the back of the class in Natasha's tight grip. Bucky let himself be distracted by her manhandling when he noticed she only had one cup of coffee in her hand. He could really go for some coffee right now.

He was soon knocked out of his distractedness as she pushed him down in one the seats, taking one next to him.  She arched a red eyebrow before taking a sip of her coffee then smirking, "Spill."

Bucky just huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.  "Where's my coffee?" 

Natasha just scoffed and took a long sip of hers just to spite him. "Yeah right, Steve probably made you some before you left."

Steve had in fact made Bucky coffee before he left for class, he also set him away with five-minute make-out session, but she didn't need to know that.

"So what the fuck happened, Barnes?  I haven't heard from you the whole weekend.  Did you finally get fucked?  Did you make it official?  What happened?"

Heat began to flow to Bucky's cheeks.  He and Steve had gone incommunicado the whole weekend, mostly making out and binge watching Arrested Development and ordering delivery. It was a pretty good weekend.  

"I did not get-" Bucky paused and looked around to make sure no one was around, (there wasn't), before dramatically lowering his voice- "fucked." 

"So being alone and "in love" with Steve didn't lead to a fuck fest?  I call bullshit, Barnes.  You two were like bunch of Christmas trees the way you guys pined for each other."

Bucky just shrugged and faced forward.  "To have you know I did not pine, I just admired from afar." 

"Now you can freely make out with his face." Natasha quipped.

He turned slightly and pointed a finger in affirmation and grinned, "That, I can."

The slamming of a book on his table causes Bucky to jump. He looked up to see Colleen raise one of her dark eyebrows. "You can what?"

"Make out with Steve." Natasha answered.

"Oh.  That's an exciting development." She answered smirking before taking the seat in front of Bucky then turning to face him and Natasha.

Bucky suddenly felt nervous.  After him and Steve's date on Saturday he started to feel conscious of their relationship.  Sure he really likes Steve, and by some miracle, Steve really likes him, but at what price?

Bucky couldn't live with himself if Steve's career was put in jeopardy because of him.  Ever since they were little Steve has lived and breathed football.  It was the thing that had drew him closer to his father and made him feel bigger than he was at the time.  Life hasn't always been good to Steve Rogers, from his father passing, the bullying, and the surgeries and through all of it he had football.  Bucky didn't want to be the one who took that away from him. 

"I mean..." Bucky trailed off, "He has a really soft tongue."

Colleen chuckled softly and Natasha mad a gagging sound. "That's disgusting Bucky."

"Weren't you the one who asked if me and Steve fucked?" Bucky questioned.

Natasha just shrugged.  "Semantics."

“Speaking of which, how’s your mom, Bucky?” Colleen asked.

Bucky involuntarily winced.

“She just called Saturday before the game, she’s still bugging me to come back to Russia for the family reunion.”

“Her only son is in an entirely different continent and always forgets to call, I wouldn’t surprise if she’s always on your case.” Natasha said.

It was true. Bucky barely had time to talk to his mother. He was always busy with balancing his schoolwork, social life, and sleep. Sometimes it would slip his mind to call. He really loves his mom, he does, he just forgets sometimes. And recently the family reunion is all she could talk about and he wasn’t to keen on going.

His aunt Lidiya was born and raised and Moscow and her nationalism was a little overbearing. When Bucky’s family moved from Moscow to New York his aunt Lidiya had a lot to say and whenever they’d visit she’d make snide remarks about his American born father and how his mother was trying too hard to Americanize him and his sister. And his uncle Anatoly was a little too…touchy for Bucky’s liking.

Besides them his baba and deda, were always a pleasure to visit, with them fattening him up with pirozhki and stroganoff.   He wanted to go back, but at the time he wouldn’t mind if he just stayed in the dorms and watched Netflix and eat all day.

“I’m thinking about it.” Bucky responded.

 “ _If you go I want to go too._ ” Natasha said in Russian as their teacher walked in.

Professor Kuznetsov was a strict lady who deducted two points from participation every time she heard someone talk in any language other than Russian.  

“ _Maybe Steve would want to go too.”_ Colleen added.

“ _American sunshine, fourth of July, baby Steve? My aunt Lidiya would eat the poor boy alive.”_ Bucky explained.

“ _Russia or die!”_ Natasha mocked.

Bucky gave out a loud laugh before professor Kuznetsov hit the board with her pointer signaling the start of class, “ _Let class begin; this week we’ll discuss **The Tale of the Dead Princess.”**_

* * *

Steve was jumping out of his skin with excitement. He won the game Saturday, made out with Bucky all Sunday, aced his Tech test this morning and is about to partake in his first practice as starter. Life was really starting to look up for him.

Steve sat next to Luke cage as they waited for coach Coulson to begin class. Before they could practice on the field they had to learn some new plays. “What’s up, man?” Steve greeted as he took his seat.

Luke shrugged, “The usual, you?”

 Steve just shook his head as he took out his playbook. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.” 

“Yo Cage!” Rollins called as he walked with Rumlow by his side. 

“Yo!” Luke called back.

As much as Steve disliked Rumlow he decided not to let it consume him.   They were teammates so they win or lose together. Steve wasn’t going to let a petty feud between them escalate. Rumlow was just a dick and Steve has dealt with his fair share of dicks-no pun intended- so what was Rumlow?

“Rogers.” Rollins greeted when he neared Luke and Steve, Rumlow in tow.

Steve just nodded in acknowledgment.

 “A couple of people from the A dorms are throwing a party on Thursday. Their dorm supervisor is in Cali for a week and doesn’t have a sub, so it’s gonna be live. You in?” Rollins asked Cage.

 “If Jess is in I’ll probably go.” Luke responded.

“What about you, freshmen? You gonna go? You can bring your boy toy with you.” Rumlow smirked. 

Steve assumed he was talking about Bucky. “I don’t know. I wasn’t invited.” 

“I just invited you dumbass but be sure to invite your friend, okay?” Rumlow said irritated.

“Um…” Why the hell did he want him to bring Bucky? Was he even talking about Bucky?

“You get tossed around a little too much on Saturday or something? Let’s go Jack.” Rumlow said as Coulson walked in.

“WHO ARE WE?!” Coulson shouted. 

“SHIELD!” The team chanted.

“WHO ARE WE?!” Coulson repeated.

“SHIELD!”

“WHAT DO WE DO?”

 “WIN!”

“WHAT?” 

“WIN!”

“Alright reign it in fellas. You guys kicked ass Saturday! Let’s congratulate our team MVP from last game, Rumlow, and our new starting QB, Rogers!”

The class hooted and hollered, jostling both Steve and Brock.

Steve blushed. This is what he always wanted. To feel accepted by his team. When he was little he was always picked last and could only get on little league because his filed a lawsuit against the coach for discrimination. He’s worked hard every practice everyday.

 After his growth spurt he had hit the gym at least four times a week and worked about everyday.   He wasn’t very confident in himself but football gave him that confidence. So being praised for an accomplishment made him feel… content.

“Now today we’re gonna watch some film, take some notes, work out then you can go off to be with your girlfriends or do whatever college kids do now-a-days. “

Three and a half hours later practice was over and Steve was running late for his class.   It was his last of the day and he was already feeling a little exhausted from watching film and taking notes for two and a half hours straight and working out intensely for an hour. “Steve! Hey!” He heard Sharon call out.

He turned around and gave a small smile, “I’m sorry Sharon but I’m running a little late.”

She just smiled and nodded, “Sorry. Go, go, go, and let the truant gods withhold their wrath!”

Steve laughed as he ran to his next class, getting there in the knick of time. As he walked in the Banner Building he saw his professor walk towards the class. He quickly rushed to open the door for him and gave a sheepish smile.

His professor rolled in his eyes and let Steve off, “Just this once, Rogers.”

Steve walked to the only available seat in the back of the class, which happened to be in between Misty Knight and one of his best buddies, Sam. Sam was literally obsessed with her, but unfortunately she was dating Danny Rand. This was going to be interesting. “Sup man.” Sam greeted him.

Steve just smirked as he wiggled his eyebrows and looked toward Misty who was reading something on her laptop.

“Shut up dude!” Sam whisper-shouted.

Steve just put a finger to his lips before winking.

“Okay students, to start the fall semester I’m gonna start assigning groups for the end of the semester project I asked you all to think about the first class. A forty-five minute documentary about the topic I assign to as well as a companion piece, be it a presentation, paper, recording, or whatever it is to explain your thought process. This is worth 500 points; so don’t come to me last minute saying you and your partner aren’t getting along. Now partner up, groups of 2-4.”

Sam and Steve simultaneously looked to each other. They work well together, and bullshit only a little.

 “You mind if I join you two?” Misty asked.

“I don’t mind, the more minds at work the better, how about you Sam?”

 “Psshh. I’m cool, it’s cool, whatever.” Sam tried to say nonchalantly.

“Cool,” She responded before chuckling and turning back to her computer.

 “That was so uncool dude.” Steve said turning to Sam.

 Sam just flipped him the bird before putting his head down.

 “Alright, now send one person from each group to write down the name of all your group members and get your topics.” The professor said.

“I’ll do it,” Misty said standing up and going up front.

“Dude!” Sam exclaimed.

“Dude!” Steve echoed. “Come on, she’s the smartest girl in class plus you two can get closer now. You’ll thank me when you two get married.”

“Yeah, I’ll be sure too.” Sam said, “Speaking of marriage gay marriage has been legalized for a while now.”

“Correlation?” Steve asked feigning confusion. 

“You and one James Buchanan Barnes. You’ve been MIA all weekend, I started to suspect you and Bucky ran off to Vegas and got married.”

Steve winked and leaned back in his seat, “He didn’t want to tell anyone. We honeymooned in a casino.”

“Shut the fuck up man. What really happened? Are you two finally dating?”

“I mean yeah, but he wants to keep on the down low for a while.”

 “What, why?”

“It’s a long story.” Steve said uncomfortably.

“We’ll talk about it later. But are you going to hang out with Clint and me today? They finally opened the pizza place in the caf’. You can eat a salad while you watch us munch on the greasiness of college pizza.”

“As fun as that sounds, I kinda want to take the longest nap when I get out of here.”

“Your loss dude.” Sam shrugged. 

Misty came back with the topic and took her seat next to Steve. She then told them the most bullshit, cliché topic in the whole universe: love. 

 

After class Sam had another class in the building so Steve was prepared to head to the dorms by himself only to see a familiar mop of brown hair, sitting on a bench in front the Banner Building, looking on his phone.

Steve smiled before walking over the to bench and sitting down. “Hey stranger.” 

The boy looked up and beamed. “Hey! I thought you had a few more minutes.”

“He let us out early.” Steve replied.

“Well, my nana bought me some groceries today. Do you want me to cook?” Bucky asked.

 “Oh I wish I would have known, I love your grandma. Did she bring Becca?” Steve said.

Bucky’s nana was his grandmother on his father’s side, and she liked to coddle Bucky and his half-sister Rebecca. Becca was now eight and whenever she saw Bucky she lights up.

 Steve loves seeing that. He’s only ever met Bucky’s mother once, before her and Bucky’s father’s divorce, but he use to see George all the time.

 “No, she’s with her mother on a day trip or something.” Bucky answered.

 “Oh, well I don’t mind if you cook.”

 “Alright then. You’re probably tired from practice, you can take a nap while I fix it, okay?”

 “You know you’re the best right.” Steve asked sincerely, staring Bucky straight in the eyes.

 Bucky blushed and looked away before standing up. “I’ve been told.”

Steve got up too and they walked shoulder and shoulder back to their dorm room.

 When they finally made it in Bucky pushed Steve against the wall and kissed him hard. His tongue slipped in Steve mouth and Steve’s hands landed on the bottom of Bucky’s back. Bucky in turn ran his hand up Steve’s arms sighing at the feel of his muscles. After a while they broke apart for air.

 “Hey,” Bucky breathed.

 “Hey.”

 “How was practice?”

“It was good.”

“Good. Now go take your nap.”

 “I’m not that sleepy anymore,” Steve said as he reached for Bucky again.

“Shut up.” Bucky giggled as Steve moved them backwards to the couch.

He ended up propped up on top of Bucky, both of them laughing.

 “There’s a party on Thursday.” Steve mumbled as he kissed on Bucky’s neck.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And Rumlow wanted me to invite you.”

This caused Bucky to still and open his eyes to meet Steve’s. “Why?” Bucky asked.

Steve moved off of Bucky and sat on the cushion next to him. “I don’t know, but he likes to ask about you.”

“I mean, we use to talk, but it was for only about a week.” Bucky mumbled.

Steve’s heart stopped. What the hell did talk mean? Sure the day after Brock returned his stuff to practice he had called Bucky pretty, and the time he thought he might’ve seen Rumlow texting Bucky, or all the times Bucky would look at his phone and smile.

Steve wasn’t blind. Rumlow’s an attractive guy and he and Bucky looked like they would fit together. Were they still talking? What if they’ve-Steve felt sick even thinking about it-kissed?

“Oh,” Steve said for a lack of a better response.

“It’s not like that Stevie, I swear. We’ve only texted a few times then I told him I didn’t feel right talking to him anymore, okay? It’s only you, I swear.”

Steve felt himself nodding. He trusts Bucky. Sometimes it feels like he’s the only one he can trust. So Steve wasn’t going to blow things out of proportions. He grabbed Bucky’s hands and nodded, “I trust you, Bucky.” Then kissed his cheek.

 “Good, ‘cause I’d rather snuggle and watch _The Office_ with you than go to a party.”

“Me too.” Steve said dopily before rubbing the tip of his nose against Bucky’s softly.

Bucky grabbed the side of his face in both of his hands and laughed. “I really, really, really like you Steve.”

“Ditto.” Steve responded before kissing him once again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This chapter Steve and Bucky weren't together a lot but they are students with different majors. I wanted this chapter to be a little fluffy because in a few chapters its gonna get a little heavy. 
> 
> And to clarify, Bucky's mother is Russian but she met George and they fell in love before having Bucky. After he was born they moved to Brooklyn but divorced when he was in kindergarten, he then moved to Russia with his mother but came back when he was in second grade to live with his father. He usually visits his mother on major holidays or breaks. When he was in fourth grade his father got remarried to a woman named Holland and they had Rebecca. He call his grandmother on his father's side nana. And his grandparents on his mother's side deda and baba. Originally I was going to kill off his father but I changed my mind. So there's a little background for you guys! :)


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